I'm a Wellness Coach and I'm ALL about possibility and potential. But I live in the actual world and sometimes even I forget that I have the power to be and do whatever I want in my life.
I was reminded of this recently when a client told me "I can't help it. I'm a control freak. That's just the way I am."
That's simply not true. That is a story that she decided to believe about herself somewhere along the way.
I thought about some of stories that I used to tell myself. "I can't sit still long enough to meditate", "I don't have time to exercise regularly", "I'm an impatient person" and "I have no willpower around sugar or carbs" are a few examples of things I believed.
When I told myself these stories, I was making them be my real life. But believing them was what was keeping me stuck.
It also made me feel like crap.
And then something interesting happened. I decided to experiment with giving up sugar. I started with a 21-day cleanse and then I felt so much better that I just kept going. Despite falling off course a few times here and there I have mostly lived that way for over 4 years. In fact, I don't even crave sugar any more.
I realized that I did too have 'willpower' and that my old story had changed.
I found that if I could change that old story then I could change ANY of my stories.
Instead of believing that I didn't have time to exercise I decided to make time for exercise.
I created a daily habit that included looking at my schedule pretty much every day (or the night before) and putting something in my calendar. Whether it's a walk, a yoga class or Body Pump, now my story is that I feel better when I exercise, so I do it.
There is so much power in the knowledge that you can change your story any time you want!
I can also tell myself stories that make me feel good. When I tell myself "I am lucky" I actually feel pretty lucky. I think of all the times in my life I've had cool shit happen. I think about all the things I am grateful for and I keep a running list in my journal.
I literally count my blessings.
Language is powerful, and even swapping out a few key words can feel radically different.
Notice the difference between "I am an impatient person. I have always been that way." vs. "I have had a habit of being impatient but it's not how I want to feel. I am learning how to change that."
See how different those two stories feel?
I still become the victim of my own stories sometimes. Just recently I noticed that I was avoiding some stuff I wanted to do around my coaching business. I was telling myself that I just needed more time and I wasn't quite ready yet.
And that would have been fine -- if it hadn't left me feeling yucky. The yucky feeling was the clue that it was time to start telling myself a new story.
Believing things about yourself that aren't true will keep you stuck and frustrated!
What are the stories you've been telling yourself? How can you change them - even a little bit - to shift the feeling?