Despite the fact that I'm a Wellness Coach and that I'm all about possibility and potential, I live in the actual world. This means that sometimes I forget that I have the power to be and do whatever I want in my life. That's right. I can be anything I want in my life - and so can you.
I was reminded of this recently when a client told me "I'm a control freak. That's just the way I am."
That's simply not true. That is a story that she decided to believe about herself somewhere along the way and now it's become part of her personal wikipedia page. Good thing we can edit those!
I thought about some of stories that I used to tell myself. "I can't sit still long enough to meditate", "I don't have time to exercise regularly", "I'm an impatient person" and "I have no willpower around sugar or carbs" are a few examples of things I believed.
Believing those stories was keeping me stuck.
They also made me feel like crap.
And then something interesting happened. I decided to experiment with giving up sugar. I started with a 21-day cleanse and then I felt so much better that I just kept going. Despite falling off course a few times here and there I have mostly lived that way for over 4 years. In fact, I don't even crave sugar any more.
I realized that I did too have 'willpower' and that my old story had changed. And if I could change that old story then I could probably change ANY of my stories.
Instead of believing that I didn't have time to exercise I decided to make time for exercise. I created a daily habit that included looking at my schedule pretty much every day (or the night before) and putting something in my calendar. Whether it's a walk, a yoga class or pilates, now my story is that I feel better when I exercise, so I do it as much as possible.
There's so much power in the knowledge that you can change your story any time you want!
I can also choose to tell myself stories that make me feel good. When I tell myself "I am lucky" I think about all the good stuff that has happened in my life and then I actually feel pretty lucky. I regularly think about the things I'm grateful for and I keep a running list in my journal.
I literally count my blessings.
Language is powerful, and even swapping out a few key words can feel radically different. Notice the difference between "I'm an impatient person. I have always been that way." vs. I've had a habit of being impatient but it's not how I want to feel. I'm learning how to change that."
See how different those two stories feel?
Sometimes I can still become the victim of my own stories. Just recently I noticed that I was avoiding some stuff I wanted to do around my coaching business. I was telling myself that I just needed more time and I wasn't quite ready yet.
And that would have been fine -- if it hadn't left me feeling yucky.
The yucky feeling was the clue that it was time to start telling myself a new story.
Bottom line: believing things about yourself that aren't true will keep you stuck and frustrated!
What are the stories you've been telling yourself? How can you change them - even a little bit - to shift the feeling?