Posts tagged feeling better
Exercising the Choice of Forgiveness

We’ve all heard the sayings, Forgive and forget and To err is human, to forgive, divine. But what if you feel like you can’t forgive, let alone forget, or you simply don’t know how?

A long time ago in a state far away I was an angsty twenty-something who was carting around a big ole U-Haul full of righteous anger and “woe-is-me” stories. There was no doubt in my mind that I had been dealt a shitty hand and I would share my grievances with anyone who asked (as well as plenty of people who didn’t). I was often rewarded with sympathy, empathy, and pity, which helped keep my stories alive and, well, it also kept me unwittingly stuck on repeat.

Cut to a few years later, the anger/resentment I was schlepping around was getting heavier. I had no idea how to put it down. The damage had been done long ago and the story of it had become part of my identity. If I put it all to rest and changed that story then who would I be?

You could say I was at a crossroads.

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A Guide to Empty Nesting

When your kids are small the idea of dropping them off at college seems practically inconceivable. First, it often feels like you were the one who was just college-aged yourself, and second, can we just get them out of diapers/sleeping in their own beds/enrolled in kindergarten…before we start talking about college for heaven’s sake? But as any parent knows, this roller coaster ride moves fast and picks up speed as it goes. Even though we know that there's an exit ramp in place, it’s still a bit of a gut punch when you say goodbye to your child and drive away. 

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7 Paths to Essential Self-Care

*Note: in honor of International Self-Care Day, here is a new and improved version of an earlier post. 

As a coach I’m always looking for good metaphors to help make sense of things we humans keep tripping over or bumping into. For instance all know that in case of an emergency, we need to secure our own oxygen masks before we try and help others. If we can't breathe then we are useless to everyone - including ourselves. Daily living in the 21st century can feel relentless and stressful and often keeps our adrenals running so high that our bodies think they are in an actual, ongoing emergency and that ain’t good. What’s a girl to do? For starters, embrace new ways turning down the stress and amping up the self-care. Self-care is not selfish. It’s the metaphorical oxygen mask. Here are 7 ways you can you can add in more self care, without breaking the bank or even breaking a sweat (mostly).

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Slow and Steady Wins the Race

Lately I've been thinking about what's real and what's perceived. We all know that many of the things we see on social media are chosen or curated to get the ultimate response. And while sometimes we feel inspired, connected or amused, lots of times we get triggered into "compare and despair" and end up feeling like our lives, our bodies and our selves are somehow lacking. We keep scrolling through, trying to shake off the feeling, forgetting that we're seeing only only a part of a story, not the big picture. It's not a whole truth. 

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How to Adjust to New Normals

Fact: life is constantly throwing us curveballs. There’s always gonna be something, oftentimes unexpected, that will come along and shake things up in some way. Also fact: The way we choose to deal with the curveballs is entirely up to us. Whether it’s hormonal changes like menopause or adrenal fatigue, emotional changes like a break-up or becoming an empty-nester, or physical changes like a sprained ankle, a bum knee or even an unwanted diagnosis, the more resilient we are, the easier it will be to adjust to new normals - whether they’re temporary or permanent. The more we cultivate resilience the faster we can bounce back from those inevitable curveballs and return to the business of living our lives. I’m not saying you have to like the change, but learning to acknowledge it, grieve or heal as long as is necessary and not allow it completely derail you is part of being resilient.

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Getting Started With Adaptogens

Because I have my ear to the ground on all things wellness related, I often hear about trends that at first may seem kind of "out there" or too good to be true, but often catch on and become media darlings.

Adaptogens totally fit that description.

Like many things that seem "new" in health and wellness, adaptogens have been used for thousands of years by ancient healing practices like Ayurveda and Traditional Chinese Medicine. In fact, you may have heard of things like maca (a hormone-balancing root from the Andes), reishi and chaga mushrooms (both fantastic for immune support and brain function) or ginseng (a fabulous energy booster) and not even known that they were adaptogens.

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Yoga and me: a love story (part 2)

You may have heard me waxing poetic about yoga lately. That’s because me and yoga got it going on right now. After years of having a very sporadic relationship with yoga  (See “Yoga and Me: a love story (part 1) I decided to give it another concerted effort in the form of a 30-day self challenge this past January and I gotta say, me and yoga are digging each other.

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Adaptogenic Bliss Balls

Have you heard of adaptogens yet? The Wellness community has been buzzing about them for a few years now but like many things that seem "new" in health and wellness, adaptogens have been used for thousands of years by ancient healing practices like Ayurveda and Traditional Chinese Medicine. 

I'm a little bit obsessed after using them for the last year and really noticing a difference in my energy levels (up) and my stress levels (down). I started by adding them to my morning matcha and now find ways to incorporate them into my day in other ways as well. Even my husband is smitten and insists that he is more productive when he adds adaptogens to his bulletproof coffee. Our favorites are ashwaganda (for anxiety and insomnia), a blend of adaptogenic mushrooms and he shou wu (also known as Fo-Ti and translated as "Mr. He's black hair", it is  anti-aging and a blood tonifier).

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9 reasons why you need to take Yourself on a wellness retreat

I am leading my Yes, THIS! Wellness Retreat again in October with my friend and colleague Dr. Louise Rose and I would love for you to join us. It's on the Oregon Coast (so beautiful in the fall!) and it's the PERFECT place to engage in some exquisite self-care.  If you've never taken yourself on a retreat before (and even if you have) I urge you to consider this one

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Wellness is as wellness does

I was recently talking with a group of people about Wellness and it was revealed that several of them did not have a clear understanding of what Wellness was "supposed" to mean. They had many varying opinions. Some seemed to think that Wellness was a vague and over-generalized concept, some felt it was strictly about being in good health and others felt that it referred to how healthy they were or if they exercised and ate a "healthy" diet.I choose to go with The National Wellness Institute's definition of Wellness as "a conscious, self-directed and evolving process of achieving full potential."

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Notes on turning 50

A couple of years ago, with the big 5-0 on my horizon, I found myself in a bit of a meltdown. On paper my life was pretty awesome. I was married to a great guy, had 2 healthy, reasonably well-adjusted teenagers, I was living in an old craftsman house in a city that I loved and working from home with hours that I chose myself. I was healthy, had an active social calendar and regular trips to NY & LA. But as I got closer to that big birthday I started feeling lost. 50 sounded so BIG. So old. So middle aged. It was doing my head in.

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Why self-care is more important that ever right now.

No mater what your beliefs are, it's impossible to avoid seeing that this country is in the middle of some crazier than usual bullsh*t. It's really easy to get sucked into a sinkhole of anxiety, frustration and anger, and while sometimes those feelings can ultimately inspire action and change, they need to be balanced with some radical self-care or they will burn you out. 

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What Are You Really Hungry For?

I've been going through some stressful things of late and haven't been paying as much attention as I normally do to the way I've been eating. As a result I've gained a few pounds, my clothes are tight and I'm generally dragging. It made me think about what I'm feeling (or avoiding feeling) when I don't eat mindfully. It made me question what I am really hungry for right now. 

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Same old, Same old?

Here's a fun fact about turning 50 (or 43 or 47 or any age after 40 really…): stuff you have done all your life can suddenly stop working the way it always has. That's right - you think you've got something wired and just like that it either explodes or just starts fizzling out. Then you're like, "WTF? I'm waking up at 3 AM? I've always slept a solid 8 hours a night", or " Hello? I've gained 10 pounds and I have not done one single thing different in the past 6 months."  Welcome to the wonderful world of aging and perimenopause.

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The 5 Paths to Essential Self-Care

As a coach I am always looking for good metaphors to help make sense of things we humans keep tripping over or bumping into. One of my favorites comes courtesy of the airline industry. We all know that in case of an emergency, we need to secure our own oxygen masks before we try and help others. If we can't breathe then we are useless to everyone - including ourselves. This is a great metaphor for real life! Daily living in the 21st century can feel relentless and stressful and often keeps our adrenals running as if we are in a constant state of emergency.

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Cool it!

It's been my experience that sometimes when we set goals to lose weight or improve our health, life tends gets in the way. We have a stressful day (or three), a few nights of insomnia (*raising my hand), or some other diversion, we get derailed and then it feels impossible to get back on track. Typically what motivates us is in the first place is wanting to go down a few pants sizes or lose those jiggly arms, but I've come to believe that the clearer we are on what motivates us, the better the odds are of turning our goals into lifestyle changes.

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Do the right thing*

There is no "one size fits all" when it comes to diet.

I am in the middle of training to be a Certified Health Coach at the Institute for Integrative Nutrition (IIN) and one of the key concepts is something called Bio Individuality. This is the idea that every person is unique and has highly individualized nutritional requirements.

Depending on our age, genetics, beliefs and tastes, we get to decide what works for us. You probably know some people who are allergic to shellfish, some who can't be near a peanut and some who won't discuss eating anything that resembles an animal. And then there are the folks who are gluten-free, dairy-free, kosher, Paleo or just can't tolerate onions.

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I Thought I Lost You

When I was pregnant with my first child, it was kind of a miracle. There was a lot of counting, waiting, praying and modern medical technique involved. But it also felt like I had, at last, been accepted into an exclusive club. I thought I would finally be "complete." I would be the woman I already was - only better. I was going to kick ass at this mothering gig.

I was wrong.

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Cheap Trick

I finally lost the extra "baby weight" that I couldn't seem to shake for years. That old adage "it will just fall off when you are nursing" thing didn’t work for me. A few years ago I hit a wall. My babies were nearly teenagers. I was not getting any younger. And to be honest, I was sick of feeling like crap about myself.

I knew that if I really wanted things to change then I was going to have to do something different.

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I Don't Know What to Do!

There are lots of things I've learned from having been around the sun a few times.

I know to avoid big movies on opening weekend. I know I catch more flies with honey than with vinegar.

I know to look both ways before I cross. I know which jeans make my ass look like the state of Texas (no offense Texans) and I know that if I drink red wine too late into the night I will get no sleep and act like a total bitch in the morning. Whatever the situation these days, I can usually say “no thanks” and feel just fine about it

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